. . . No, not free after Robert Lempke "which Schweinderl would you like?" . . . It must have meant, "Who am I... For you?"
Almost from the moment I left my gym goes, my pick up the phone. . . Android on my right in the middle, very tall, smiles at me a photo of you, I type on it and my phone dials your number, I want to say is that I'm done and on the way home that I looking forward to you. . . . every time I do. . . not out of habit, not out of obligation and not because you want it. . . there is a need
It is Saturday morning at half-elf and I am in the auditorium of the school where I did my graduation 30 years ago. Today it is the school my daughter, in which you changed after the demolition of the high school a few weeks ago, and it's "open door". With information booths, music, and various exhibitions promoting the school to future students. I actually run my former math teacher, Mrs. Kolodzyi on the way, has now become the principal and actually remembers me and talks to me by my first name. I recognize you, but a Dejaveu remains of yet, nothing will occur to me as real, it's just too long ago. But it is a nice Moment and we exchange a few memories. In the auditorium is now being sung and danced and I place myself to listen to the performances of the young stars. My Lisa starts to feel good now after some initial difficulties so slow and I am delighted to see how you stand together with your classmates and all rumschnattern together happily. They sing, they dance and I feel relieved because I know that my Mausepieps has found your place, you have friends and that's the important thing. Hardly had I left the school, my grip goes to the phone, I miss you and I want to tell you of what I have just experienced. I want to share my joy with you. . . also I feel the need. Your kids are visiting and I have missed you last night. . . again I'll call you.
The afternoon will be a catastrophe. . . for me. . . You go to the movies with your children, watch a movie about vampires and then it says, will you go to Steglitz order for your daughter to get something for your hair. . . the hours trickle away, the phone remains silent and I wait in vain for a sign, a call. . . a message. . . "Hello my sweet, we are now out of the cinema where we want to meet. . blablabla. . . The film was great / stupid / interesting / boring. . . whatever, I miss you and I would like to see you. . . kiss, press, up into the arm, is I do not care what my children want to present I desire "... NOTHING
I'm going to Steglitz, sometime, I think you will be listed there, yes, I'm already there... I'll do like surprises... I push myself around in the shops, Globetrotter, Whitford Press, Media Markt . . . on the sidewalks, it is plain pork, which sucks, I have no money. . . but surely you will indeed call the restaurant. . . NOTHING. . . after 2 hours I'm going home again.
What should I think? . . . I have already often experienced. If your children are there, you seem to forget who wants to be the most important person in your life. . . or. . . You forget it all? . . . something like this, how is it not at the most important people to you?
It is not clear to you. . . the impression that you and your children of me the importance of give me your life is unbearable for me. It causes your puppy to make his stupid jokes with me. He knows that He is the most important thing and I'm just some guy with whom he can do what he wants. He made plays and grins at himself in and out. By your behavior, you make me ridiculous in front of him and the cloth, for idiots, for idiots. . . it just before a 13-year-old.
Deine anderen Beiden, merken auch nicht, wie wichtig der Mann an der Seite Ihrer Mama ist . . . offensichtlich ist er es ja auch nicht. Sie lernen nicht, welche Bedeutung ein Partner für einen Menschen haben kann . . . wie auch, wenn ich nichtmal 19Cent für einen Anruf wert bin.
Die Mischung aus Verletztheit, Wut und Ärger entläd sich in einem Telefonat am Abend . . . mir zittert die Stimme . . . und ich merke, Du merkst es nicht. The next morning after a fairly sleepless night, a last attempt. . . at half past eight out of bed, get ready to train station, arrange flowers, change and take the best bakery in Berlin. Because the stupid bus did not come, I take a taxi. Then 20 € poorer, stand with sandwiches and flowers at your door. The children watch TV, have breakfast, so when I would visit my sister, then I sit together with your children in front of the laptop and give patient a lesson in "how do I deal with a pc. . . there are no characters, no words, no touch. . . no comment on yesterday's incident. . . for the children I could also be some Arbeitskollege sein, Du zeigst Ihnen nicht, wer ich bin und was ich Dir bedeute . . . ich bin irgendein Typ der im Leben Ihrer Mutter keine Bedeutung hat. Es ist erniedrigend . . . unbewusst aber demonstrativ schenkst Du deinem Jüngsten unendlich Aufmerksamkeit, der dies mit einem Grinsen in meine Richtung quittiert. Er weiß genau was läuft, spielt das aus und Du merkst es nicht.
Was soll ich sagen?, DU bist eine Frau und weißt nicht was da passiert? . . . ist das jetzt navive Mutterliebe oder Unwissenheit oder was ist es? . . . ich könnte Burst screaming, fly apart. . . everything I can "my partner" (?) do not show how much importance I have in his life. Today and tomorrow different. DU, it can be without continuity, the einforderst you every day, week after week, month after month. . . and you also get. . MY children know what you mean to me how important you are to me, ask for you, ask you to defend yourself even. . . and your kids? . . . for which I am one visit, more than just a nice friend. . and for your puppy You make me a clown than he can make merry whenever He just comes to mind. You can it just happen It makes you nothing.
It does not decide about you. . . between you and me. . . this is ridiculous, so just think people simply structured. . . your children are always your children, no question. . . the more important it would be to show him who you want to share your life, whoever you are missing when you're alone, you should have heard by whom and on whom you speak when you are alone with you, you should know for what man you would do anything. . . so you learn the difference. . . between mother love and Love for a partner. . . you learn how great the need may be to want to be only for a person there to make you realize how important a man for your mom. . . one man your mother needs so much. I despair at the thought that you are missing for all antennas.
The weekend is over, not a word, not a word, no explanation. . . Porcelain is much broken up and I stand at the shards and do not know how I should return aside. . . whether words help? . . . Time heals all wounds is well known . . . eins weiß ich, oft werde ich das nicht mehr erleben wollen.
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